Monday, May 7, 2012

My Sonic Commercial


Two men sit parked in a car at Sonic fast food resteraunt.

Sonic A:  Have you tried these new chicken tenders from Sonic?
Sonic B: Oh yeah!  I'm gonna go on a tender bender!
Sonic A: They are delicious, try them with Sonic's new homemade tangy bbq sauce.
Sonic B: I'm all over it man, I'm on the tender bender.
Sonic A: You just like saying 'tender bender' don't you?
Sonic B: Tender bender!
They eat their tenders in silence.  They sit quietly as they finish their last bites. They look full and despondent.
Sonic A: What are we doing here?  I mean, why are we here? I forget.  A new promtion?
Sonic B: I don't know.
Sonic A: Do you know how we got here?  Do we have families?  You've said something a wife once... she wanted a milkshake.
Sonic B:  I don't know *increasingly worried*
Sonic A:  Do we have names?
Sonic B: I don't wanna think about those things.
Sonic A: Why?
Sonic B: Because when I try I can't.
Sonic A: Have we ever left this place?
Sonic B: I think so, I mean it feels like we have.
Sonic A: Why?
Sonic B: I don't know, what's the alternative?  *weeping*
Sonic A: Have you ever enjoyed anything I've ever said to you?
Sonic B: No.
Sonic A: Why do we say these things? I'd like to tell you how I feel but I can't.  I don't know how.
Sonic B:  I don't want to know.  I wish you've never said anything at all.  I want to go back.  We're finished.  We can't go back.  You've killed us.
*Sonic A begins frothing at the mouth first a yellow foam and then blood.  He slumps over without passion.*
*Sonic B looks down into his frozen drink weeping loudly.  He vomits a large amount of blood into his drink and goes limp.*
Two custodians remove the bodies and wipe down the car's interior a curtain is pulled infront of the car.
A voice off camera: Rolling in 5...4...3...2...1
The curtain is pulled open Sonic A and Sonic B are there again.
Sonic A:  Have you tried these new chicken tenders from Sonic?
Sonic B: Oh yeah!  I'm gonna go on a tender bender!